When you serve the Father with gladness, you feel like a star. hehehe! You feel empowered and you feel like you are the most beautiful person in the world who deserve absolute happiness. I don't know. It's like magic. Honestly, i feel more than jasmine trias or happyslip. Laughs. Naniwala ka naman.
If love works in mysterious ways, the love of the Father works more deeper, in manner that you cannot sleep. Laughs. After all the lessons absorbed, after all the experiences gained and after all the love that i felt, it's no wonder I spend my spare and even my working time thinking about my life and my future.
When i was in college, i learned to deal with things, one step at a time. One of classmates was instrumental for me to understand "not to worry about the future, but to worry about today first." That's why i usually don't plan for "long-term plans about myself" because i don't want to be frustrated because i always find my plans in deviation to "what is right."
Life is a mixture of surprises. Sometimes, i don't want to think about tomorrow because though i strive to plan and plan for the best of my future, still my plans are not working. It's not effective. Usually, as i observed when you deviate from "what is right" or from "His will" you feel "dry" or you feel "empty." The luster of your star fades away.
You know, honestly, when i was in my freshman years, i look like an ugly duckling. Really. I thought that the mind matters most. But as time passed by, i realized the necessity to gain a "pleasing personal appearance."
Ayun, i learned too understand how to deal with my fair skin, how to go my derma and ask for help about my white heads (Though its so harsh. I hate dermatologists the most next to dentists! They don't used anesthesia! Ouch... Try to imagine a person in white robe holding a semi-plier hitting your white heads take note "one by one."), how to forget laziness and go to my dentist, how to routinely take my vitamins for healthy living, how to care for the environment, how to work with love and excellence, how to be humble always bearing in mind that all these things are not mine and how to take care and prioritize my spiritual life more than anything.
WRITING AS A CALL
You know what, i was absent here for a month i think, that's why i have a lot in my mind. Honestly i want to share with you how i found that there is a calling behind my writing activities.
When i was in high school, i have a good grades in English (g2dFttS) because i have a tutor but "I HATE ENGLISH. I LOVE MATHEMATICS." This is maybe because at a very young age since birth, i was exposed with numbers. I was exposed in an environment where calculator is common, where the people around me are constantly telling me that "Math is simple!" Ayun naniwala ako, tsaka nadala ko rin ito, disregarding english along the way kasi sabi nila "It's hard."
Hay naku, how i get frustrated every time i have an exam and it includes an essay-type of exam. Lumalagpak ako pagdating sa mala-paragraph na answers! I can't express myself. Until i became a college student. Malay mo, and without me noticing everything happening, after four years, gumradweyt ako ng Mascom! Praise the Father! A total opposite from my wants and ambitions. Ayun, dun na nagsimula ang aking paglalakbay sa daan ng karurukan ng "eternal na buhay." Hayun saan ko kaya nahuhugot ang mga salitang ito.
Alam mo ba for the past weeks that i was absent here, i spent most of my times writing for literary works for our team para sa International Youth Congress. Pero i thank the Father, so far hindi pa naman ako nag nonosebleed and hindi naman nauubos ang english ko. Praise the Father again.
When your mind is mumbling with words, you will really try to find a way out where you can pour it out. Sometimes i don't want to talk to others because they can't understand me or they find me boring kasi sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin. Laughs. That's how talkative I am. Kaya ko ito, sinusulat nalang.
For the past days, i thank the Father, kasi nagsisilitawan ang mga tunay kong mga kapatid. May mga kapatid ako for fun lang. May mga kapatid ako for noble purposes. May mga kapatid din ako for beyond-the-surface-friendship yung hindi lang for friends but there is sharing, true concern and rebuked kung kailangan as we trek the way of righteousness. Hay, ganun talaga.
Ngayon ko lang nalaman na may mga tao palang pilit na binabalikan ang pahinang ito para ito'y basahin. Mga kaibigan, don't be overwhelmed. Ganun talaga, when you are a princess, you live like a princess, you experience things like a princess. Kaya huwag kayung ma-syak sa lahat ng nakikita niyong "grandeur pictures" with amazing backgrounds kasi as I have said "I am a princess." Syak ka ba? Wag nalang. Paniwalaan mo nalang kapatid kasi i am living with it. Laughs again!
Kapatid, kapatid, kapatid, hindi mapatid ang aking kaligayahan sa lahat ng mga pinagdadaan ko ngayon. Maraming mga first time akong na experience ngayon:
- First time kong manalo ng ganito karaming awards for International Youth Congress. Glory to the Father through the Son.
- First time kong nakita si Sir ng ganun kalapit with a big smile for me.
- First time kong magkaroon ng ganito kalaki at ka-conventient na trolley. Kasi pangit yung trolley ko before.
- First time kong mag-impaki ng ganito ka-jump-packed.
- First time kong mag-isip ng ganito kalalim
- First time kong makahawak ng laptop, digicam, video cam, n95 na parang akin pero hindi akin. Pero at least sa kapatid ko.
- First time kong sinurrender ang lahat ng aking mga gadgets including my cell phone, kaya don't contact me, if you'll contact me, my sister will answer you instead of me. I think i'll be hiding.
- First time ko atang magkaroon ng white kingdom dress. Laughs!
- First time kong mag-testify sa harap during Thanksgiving and Worshipped Presentation.
- First time kong pumirma ng contrata with a stipulated life-size commitment.
- First time kong... ang dami ng first time... nakalula... hindi ko na ma-enumerate lahat. If you're interested i will try to send it to you through "telekenisis" brain-to-brain conversation. hehehe. You want? we'll try. If it will not work, then we'll try again 'till it works. hehe
